America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and

tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.

Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies

close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with

them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael Commons and Patrice

Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.

The pair examined child-rearing practices here and in other cultures and say

the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds - even

separate rooms - and not responding to their cries may lead to more

incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders among American

adults.

The early stress due to separation causes changes in infant brains that

makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons

and Miller.

"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms

the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so

they're sensitive to future trauma."

Their work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach,

examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural

differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology

Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of

Traumatology.

American child-rearing practices are influenced by fears

that children will grow up dependent. But parents are on the wrong track.

Physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure when they finally head out on their own and make them better able to form their own adult relationships.

"We've stressed independence so much that it's having some very negative

side effects," Miller said.

Americans in general don't like to be touched and pride themselves on

independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or

stressful time.

Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller

said she believes many parents "cheat," keeping the baby in the room with

them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she

believes many find their way into their parents' room on their own.

American parents shouldn't worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby

their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep

with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a

mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries.

"There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma," Commons said. "My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks."

Besides fears of dependence, other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents' room and doctors' concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if it shared their bed, the pair said. The nation's growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving

families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children.

The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.

"I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children," Commons said. "Punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people." It is your baby's instinct to communicate with you by crying. It is your instinct to respond to your baby's cries.